so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
