omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
