Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
