i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
