# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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