is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
