omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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