Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
