Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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