what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my being single is dangerous.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
