just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
