so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
