but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
