Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
