Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
