theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
