I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
