My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
