Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
