do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
