a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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