ya dads aren't the best wingmen
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My bed smells like the plague
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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