I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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