her vagine was all disorganized.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
