google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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