I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
