what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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