who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
