WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
