I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
