o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
