Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
When are your genitals available?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
