Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
