Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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