Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
