I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
