I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
