I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
