just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
