You work out of a Hotel?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
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