The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
