Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My room smells like vodka and shame
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
