Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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