I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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