shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
