he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
