Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
