If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
