Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
