There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
